George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC
Dear Governor Bush:
So today is what you call ” the moment of truth, ” the day that ” France and therest of world have to show their cards on the table. ” I’m glad to hear thatthis day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440days of your lying and conniving, I wasn’t sure if I could take much more. SoI’m glad to hear that today is Truth Day, ’cause I got a few truths I wouldlike to share with you:
1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox Newsaside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of theWhite House and on to any street in America and try to find five people whoare PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON’T FIND THEM! Why? ‘CauseNO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has eventhreatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If acertain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe itor not, we don’t want to kill him! Funny how that works!
2. The majority of Americans — the ones who never elected you — are notfooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues arethat affect our daily lives — and none of them begin with I or end in Q.Here’s what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you tookoffice, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if theirretirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs two dollars a gallon –the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Onlyyou need to go away for things to improve.
3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose apopularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr.Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.
4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But evenworse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have toget before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course,this is a war you personally won’t have to fight. Just like when you went AWOLwhile the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.
5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) hasan enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to standup for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now andlet them don their chemical warfare suits. And let’s see every member ofCongress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this wareffort. What’s that you say? You don’t THINK so? Well, hey, guess what — wedon’t think so either!
6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes,some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn’teven have this country known as America if it weren’t for the French? That itwas their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That it was Francewho gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and apair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing whatonly a good friend can do — tell you the truth about yourself, straight, nob.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once.You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you tookover. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it haspainted you into a corner you can’t get out of.
Well, cheer up — there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, morethan likely it will be over soon because I’m guessing there aren’t a lot ofIraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you” win ” the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyoneloves a winner — and who doesn’t like to see a good ass-whoopin’ every nowand then (especially when it ‘s some third world ass!). And just like withAfghanistan, we’ll forget about what happens to a country after we bomb it’cause that is just too complex! So try your best to ride this victory all theway to next year’s election. Of course, that’s still a long ways away, sowe’ll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sinkeven further down the toilet!
But, hey, who knows — maybe you’ll find Osama a few days before the election!See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis — they got ouroil!!
Yours,
Michael Moore