Yesterday, Saturday June 29, the curfew was lifted from 9 a.m to 2 p.m, half the shops wereclosed it seems their owners come from far areas. The renovation work of the Ministry of PublicAffairs for the damaged buildings from the first invasion in March 29 was also freeze may bethey except more damage in the way. I saw less people in the streets comparing to the firstcurfew lifting, may be because in the first lifting people were eager to know what happened totheir city. When I was walking with my two daughters close to the ‘Rukab’ the famous ice creamshop, we heard some stunning cries coming out from one of the building across the street. Thethree of us got paralyzed, we immediately thought that the army is inside that building andagain some horror stories are taking place. We looked around but did not see people going orcoming. We decided to go to Rukab shop and phone the Red Crescent or the Red Cross. Why, asked theshopkeeper. We heard very loud cries coming out of this building, my daughter said. Oh, yeh,this is because some young youth are watching the World Cup in this cafי, and Brazil scored agoal in England!!
Few meters down near al Manara, I saw Areej and Wafa’a, surrounded by so many papers hanged onthe walls of al Manara buildings. Both represent a new group of young men and women (Nawat),they looked exhausted, they were tirelessly talking to the passing people, raise your voice,write your own feelings on these papers, do something, they said. People was watching themwith curiosity, it was like an open debate dealing with so many issues in the same time. I huggedthem strongly and admired their courage; women always come with new initiatives.
Thanks for you women that you got men out of their homes, said Sakher Habash in a crowd of womenwho organized a demonstration in al Manara place to denounce occupation and to urge morepeople to get out and protest the presence of the Israeli army. Many speakers gave strongspeeches, Habash, Wafa’a Mustapha Bargouthi and myself. It was the first time in my life togive a public speech, I didn’t want but Nahala, the head of our women’s coalition (WATC) pushedme. Yes, we have power, we have the people’s power, their tanks will not scare us, their armycannot do anything against our will, we can defeat their army by our bodies, if thousands,hundred of thousands stop in the way of their tanks, they can do nothing, they will not kill allthe people, they care about their image, their ‘morality’, let us show the true reality of awhole people against this army and not a punch of ‘terrorists’ as they always claim, I said
Vera, my neighbor and friend, came to ask me about the demonstration, it was good, people aremore encouraged to get out of their houses now, I said.
Tania, my sister tried for the second time to cross ‘Surda’ checkpoint to come and see my motherwho is so fragile now and losing memory, but she did not manage, they were shooting at people andcould not risk her life by going through the mountain roads. Since more than two months now shecould not see her and mama keeps calling her name. I am afraid that something might happen to herwithout being able to see her eldest and beloved daughter, said Vera.
Thank God, I finished my ‘Tawjihi’ exam (matriculation), said Yassmine my youngestdaughter. I remembered her last year, working so hard, under tremendous pressure and stressto get good grades, isolating herself from all the shelling and bombardment were taking placein the city and only focusing on her study. I felt her words so strongly when she was telling me,poor students, I feel their stress and pain, I feel their loss and anger but they should not giveup, when they have blood running in their veins they should go on,said Yassmine. She wasreferring to the dilemma of these students. The army invaded the city after the first Tawjihi(High School) exam in Arabic. The second day they shot at them when they went to their schools.When they lifted the curfew yesterday, they allowed them to pass another exam. Some verystrong rumors were spread in the city, that the curfew will be lifted every day from 7 a.m to 7p.m., but these rumors proved to be false when we got up this morning on the usual calls of’forbidden to go out or you will be punished’. All the study, all the hard work of yesterday wentin jeopardy for the Tawjihi students, they become hostage of their mood, said Yassmine.
But Yassmine now has another worry, she supposes to leave the country to New York, she got awonderful scholarship but she is never sure if she will be able to leave the country, no one isleaving, how I am going to leave, I wish I can fly like a bird,said Yassmine. At least you haveanother option opened up for you and not stuck like us, said Maher, my eldest son. Maher issupposes to graduate this year in Sociology from Bir Zeit university, but since almost twomonths now he cannot reach his university. The Surda checkpoint is blocking his way, as wellmore than 5,000 students from allover the West Bank and Gaza, from reaching the university.Why the hurry to graduate? once graduated what can you do?, there is no work, cannot leave thecountry for more studies, cannot start your own project, and of course you cannot marry yourgirl friend, said Sireene. In all the cases, you are luckier than me, I still have beside thissemester another year to finish and who knows what will happen in this year, said Sireene.Sireene, my middle daughter is in her third year in English literature department, an alreadysuffering department before the last Israeli invasion. In her department 10 teachers arelacking, no foreign teachers come to work in the department as used to be, who will come in such asituation, who will accept a low salary like ours so even if they lift the curfew, remove thecheckpoint, re-open the university, will still have a problem to finish my fourth year, saidSireene.
You know what, but don’t be shocked, I think to get married, what do you think, asked me Sireene.I was really shocked. This very impious girl who always dreamed of being a famous actress. Shealready acted in two films with very positive feedbacks. She is very talented, said EliSuliman, the famous Palestinian director and the first who discovered her and also who was thedirector of her first film. Nada al Yassir her second film producer told us the same thing, shehas to study acting, she is very talented girl, she should not waste her talent.
But what about acting, what about being famous as you always dreamed of I said. Acting where andhow?, even in Egypt acting school is very expensive and no one gives scholarships in acting,yes acting is my dream but it is very far now to be a realistic one, let us be realistic, marriageis the only realistic option for a girl like me now, at least I will be saved from the dailyargument with my dad about waking up early. I don’t know why he wants us to wake up early, to dowhat asked Sireene. To do many things, you can read, you can work in the garden, you can write, Isaid. But why I have to do this early in the morning we are locked the whole day I can do thisanytime during the day or by night. There was notpoint in arguing with Sireene, she depends onthe so many stories of her friends who lost the habit of waking early in the morning to starttheir lives full of energy and enthusiasm.
No, no, I said, you are only 21 and a whole life is ahead of you, may be you can leave one day tofinish your study in acting as you always wished, I said. You see mom, you always accused me ofbeing a dreamer, who is the dreamer now, what I don’t like to hear is these ‘maybes’, I hate to belike a feather in the open air I want to feel in control of my life the only thing I can ‘decide’ anddo it is to get married, she said. But do you really want to, and who said that you can really’decide’ about that, look around you how many people ‘decided’ and planned to get married butthey could not. Ahmed went to jail before getting married, Youssef, two Palestinians werekilled in his flat while under construction and does not want to move to it and postponed hismarriage. Mahmoud is engaged since four years and he cannot reach Gaza to get married. Afafprepared everything for her son’s wedding but we all now under curfew and who knows till when, Isaid. You see even such a decision you are not really in control of it, we are all tired now leavetomorrow for tomorrow and don’t give up on your dreams, at least we can dream, I said.