The three most brilliant speechwriters of George Bush prepared last Thursday’s speech of thePresident. Let’s call them Tom, Dick and Harry.
Tom’s job was to make certain that the speech would not offend the pro-Israel lobby (both theJewish and the Christian-fundamentalist). Dick saw to it that the speech would conform to thePresident’s style and intellectual heights, attained mostly from Westerns. Harry came fromthe State Department and was charged with safeguarding the interests of the United States,which, after all, must also find some place in a presidential speech.
“The President must intervene,” Harry said. “This business starts to become dangerous forus/”
“Terrorists! All terrorists must be rooted out!” Dick cried.
“The Arab governments are in panic!” Harry reported. “You can’t imagine. Stormydemonstrations all over the place. They could easily get out of control. The President muststop Sharon before this happens.”
“Don’t exaggerate,” Tom pleaded. “It’s not really serious. All these Arab rulers live on ourhandouts. The money is much more important to them than what’s happening to the Palestinians.They know that one little hint from the Jewish lobby will be enough for Congress to take all thebillions away/”
“Everyone who is not with us is a terrorist!” Dick cried. “Terrorists must be rooted out! Theykill the future!”
“When the Arab masses are roused, it’s no laughing matter,” Harry pleaded. “If thefundamentalists topple the government in one Arab country, say Jordan, all the good guys inthe Arab world will fall, one after the other, like domino pieces. Nice words are not enoughanymore. Sharon must be told to stop.”
“O.K.,” Tom sighed. “But he must be given another few days. A week or two.”
“That can be arranged,” Harry agreed. Let’s say: The President sends Powell to the MiddleEast, and in the meantime Sharon can go on. Powell will not go immediately, he has to pack histhings. The general is very pedantic and the packing will take a week. On the way he has to makecourtesy calls on his friends, another week. In the meantime Sharon can kill as manyPalestinians as his heart desires.”
“So we are agreed,” Tom summarized. “The President will call for an end to the incursions, butwill not say ‘immediately’ or ‘now’. That will give Sharon all the time he needs, and our Jewswill be satisfied.”
“But we must make sure he does not kill Arafat!” Harry remembered. “That would be terrible Itcould incite a general uprising throughout the Middle East!”
“Terrorist!” Dick cried. “Arafat is a terrorist! He has chosen the way of terrorism! He hasbetrayed the future of the Palestinian people! He…”
“We have a problem,” Tom interrupted. “Sharon is eager to kill Arafat. He wants to settle apersonal account. His general, what’s his name, Mofaz, wants to ‘throw him out’ straight toParadise.”
“My God,” Harry groaned, “that would cause a disaster! Our embassies will be bombed all overthe world. No airplane will be safe in the skies.”
“Perhaps it can be handled,” Tom pondered aloud, “We will send Zinni to meet with Arafat.Afterwards there will be an incident, the Israeli will try to arrest the ‘wanted’ people inArafat’s office, shots will be fired, Arafat will be killed accidentally. Nobody will be ableto blame us.”
“Perhaps,” Harry was doubtful. “But the reaction could be violent and push oil prices up. Thatwould be disastrous to our economy, as well as to Europe’s and Japan’s. Our people don’t give adamn about dead Palestinians, but five dollars more for a gallon could kill Bush at the nextelections.”
“Terrorism!” Dick interjected, “Raising of oil prices is terrorism against the Free World!”
“The most important thing is that the President won’t say a single good word about Arafat,” Tomurged. “He must curse him. He must say that Arafat is to blame for everything, including his ownimprisonment. Not a single good word about Arafat! Otherwise the Jews will get very angry.”
“O.K..” Harry agreed. But in return, the President must spread a lot of schmaltz about Arabdignity, the humiliation at the checkpoints, and how wonderful Prince Abdullah is. That willget these tiresome Europeans to shut up. He must speak about the Palestinian State and aboutfreezing the settlements.”
“I have no problem with that,” Tom agreed, “provided that he’ll speak about it as a vision forthe remote future. In the meantime Sharon will fill the country will settlements and kill offthe Palestinian leadership.”
Harry touched another subject. “There is this Syrian business. CIA sources tell us thatSharon is preparing a tremendous strike against them. He is only waiting for the Hizbullah toprovide a suitable provocation.”
“Good. The President will say some hard, but not overly hard words about Syria. That will serveus as an alibi if Sharon really attacks there.”
“Terrorists!” Dick contributed his part. “All the Syrians are terrorists! Hizbullah, too!And the al-Aksa guys, and Hamas and the how-do-call-it organization! Everybody! All theArabs are terrorists!”